Greg's Gaffes

New Satire Column: ‘Greg’s Gaffes’

Greg’s Gaffes

“So True You’ll Think it’s Real!”

Supply Chain Issues Make Clement Street Farmers Market “mostly baby carrots.”

By Greg Capra

Leaving many farm-to-table dinner plans in ruins, an unprecedented series of supply chain issues have reduced the popular Clement Street Farmers Market to just a few stands selling baby carrots.

“I thought the whole Suez Canal thing was over!” remarked local resident and market patron Fred Fleetweek. He continued to report how numerous signs have popped up all over the block to protest the lack of fresh produce, as well as representatives from Instacart slyly handing out discount codes.

After reluctantly buying one of the few bags himself, Fred told reporters “We’re supposedly in a drought, but these baby carrots are soaking wet. I just don’t know who to trust anymore.”

At press time, angry market goers were spotted riding away on tandem bicycles and yelling “this would never happen in Marin!”

Send appreciation/hate mail to: gregoryrcapra@gmail.com / @gregs_gaffes (Twitter)

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