The Adventures of Sally Virus by Jack Anderson
A Very Scary Detective Story…. Talk about “noir” try this!
By Jack Anderson
Unseen, lurking in the shadows, she attached herself to the metal handrail. She knew that it would be only a matter of time until some careless fool would lean against the spot where she had been.
Wow! What a babe, Sally was. Only 19 and already she knew she could take your breath away. Talk about promiscuous. She didn’t care if you were young or old, hetero, homo, trans or asexual. As long as you were not wearing a mask you were fair game.
Whether or not invited, she would crash any party, at the beach, a bar, a picnic or family barbecue. Sally avoided brisses (ritual circumcisions) however. Those mohels – they’re so finicky about matters of hygiene. “Rachel, is that mask by Yves Saint Laurent? Yes, it looks good, please tell Bubba to stand six feet back, she’s constantly too close to her grandson.”
Crowded water parks were an easy mark – you can’t wear a mask in the water. Sally was apolitical. She didn’t care if you lived in a blue or red state or the color of your skin. She didn’t discriminate. If you were maskless, she already had a crush on you. She was attracted to low-income communities as well as media superstars. Convalescent facilities were her favorites. She smiled a cruel smile as she murmured “easy pickings.”
Without a passport, she had been able to migrate to all the countries in the world. Some had begun to trace her movements. They were closing in. So, the U.S. was her best bet – the curve hadn’t flattened. America founded on the Puritan ethic of the “postponement of pleasure” had changed. A whole generation had grown up wanting everything now. Addicted to the good life, they irrationally couldn’t wait for its return. Not realizing that Sally took no prisoners until she had them in her embrace.
She chuckled as politicians switched back and forth: “please wear masks,” “masks are optional,” “health is the priority.” “economy is the priority,” “it’s the economy that’s important.”
Clever girl, she knew that she could count on the hodgepodge of local and state leaders to continue making mistakes as long as the nation continued to be divided, with no real national policy.
She chuckled again as the curve did not flatten, but went through the roof. Nothing like an election year to raise tempers while she raised temperatures! She could hardly contain herself when the president said “it was a hoax” and she would just “go away.”
She smiled as she thought of the 134,000 victims that she had herself sent away. As the poignantly political red, white and blue cheers erupted from the huddled mask-less masses at Mount Rushmore on the Fourth of July, Sally was aware of a deep snarl emanating from her own throat. She was being minimized by comparing her to some ugly distant cousin from the past – intolerable! Did they not know that hers was a family business? She had deadly siblings waiting in the wings. They could be unleashed in the future. She would just continue to work harder and create new hot spots.
For now, she was the star of the whole damn show! She knew that she would not have to worry about a vaccine for quite a while and that enough people would continue to risk not only their lives, but the very future of the nation, for a few selfish pleasures by ignoring science, in order to make political statements, claim fake news or spout conspiracy theories.
Sally was certainly not packing up yet. Although only 19, she knew that, unless there was some miraculous divine intervention, she would be able to stick around for quite a while. Wow, what a gal!
Jack Anderson is a Richmond District native and a resident for nearly 90 years.